No Worries!

No Worries! (From letter to Beth, July 30 ‘06 )                                                                                                                                                      

The advice in this was written in response to Beth finding her mother not very well

at her home in Eastbourne.

I’ve always found the best way to a state of “no worries” is to push through them, tell them to go away, come out the other side and on to something more positive. Maybe I’ve been doing my brand of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) all my life. However, lately when disappointed or worried I just tell myself this is a necessary part of a person’s being and living, in this case me, in order to feel better times better. Life is ups and downs. It wouldn’t be nearly so good if it weren’t down at times to give us  the contrasts.

Some folks choose spiritual paths to solve problems. I think that for me that would be more stressful than palliative. The path to nirvana can be bumpy and twisty. I prefer not to bother too much about my inner workings or following something (Call it blissful ignoring) preferring a good dose of suppression – nearly 60 years now and life’s OK, still sane, still active, still joking, still enjoying a glass.

So it’s a trick to give worrying an opposite force, or turn to something more positive. The mind can do this with practice. Have you ever found you’re worrying about something? I think those worries are sometimes called ruminations. Then suddenly you’ve forgotten what it was, and tried to recall it and when you do, it has lost some of its intensity. I wonder what that process is, must consult Madame Google. Perhaps it’s rumination removal. Anyway, it’s powerful. Maybe it’s important to have a worry, forget it for a bit, then exhume it, trying to recall it.

Would this be better than not having any worries, I wonder? As I said, I think worry is necessary at times. It’s good to welcome a wee bit of worry. “Come on in, what have you got for me today to deal with? Oh, you again, I’ve seen you before, I know what you’re up to.”

It reminds me of what Annie Besant, the theosophist and women’s rights activist, wrote in the early 20th century. She believed that our negative thoughts could be turned by using the same mental pathways that they occupy. It sounds plausible but I imagine it takes practice, possibly the opposite of what I’ve been saying to tell the negativity or worry to be gone.

Whatever your treatment, worry is mind-created. The same mind creates or attaches to ways to deal with it. The ways can become obsessive. It’s all a bit of a worry really!

Have a look at the CBT site I tried (There are loads of them though). I don’t think there’s a need for the hassle of following someone’s advice and all the pitfalls involved with that. In our cases we can just use our pretty strong nervous systems to help our minds turn to more positive channels.

OK, I’d better stop now. Otherwise we’ll both start questioning me banging on about worrying so much. Then we’ll really have something to worry about!