GB stands for? Years ago, revised Aug. ‘04
Teacher comes into class and starts with a warm-up.
Morning all! Right, here’s a good one. What does GB stand for? Come on! Come on! Wake up! It’s daytime, Smith, not the middle of the night. Get the old grey matter going, your mind into gear, lad!
What? What’d you say? Speak up. Let us all hear your pearls of wisdom.
“Er, I said, Good Boy, sir.”
Good boy! Good boy! And I don’t mean you, Smith. Come back next week, we might have something for you! Mmmm, bad boy more like … Ah, yes, Gloria, my dear, what are you thinking of?
“Great Britain, sir?”
Very good, nice try, Gloria. I like it, like it, and it could have been right, but it’s not the one I’m thinking of. You see, you’ve got to come up with what I’ve got in mind. We don’t want any original ideas here, certainly none of what you’re thinking.
“Sir, I thought part of your job was to encourage creative thinking.”
Yes, yes, so we were told at training college; I’m a trained teacher, you know. But most of the time I ask questions which I know the answers to. Er, to which I know the answers. Apart from which the trick of good teaching is to be doing it without the learners knowing they’re involved, rather creatively in this case. Next? Yes, you over there! Yes, Jocky isn’t it?
“No, it’s Rocky! I reckon it’s Grievous Bodily, oh yer definitely!”
What? GB …. oh, I see like in GBH. Well, very clever, very witty, Rocky, but no, it’s got to be complete in itself, see. That means two words only, not a third one chopped off to suit yourself.
Next, ahhh, Sandra, yes?
“Good Bye, sir?”
Now Sandra, have you ever said “Gee Bee” for good bye to anyone? No, you haven’t, nor heard it out there. Well, back to the drawing board on that one. Come on you lot! You should be hotching with ideas. It was homework. What were you doing last night? Dont’ tell me! Yes you, you there, Jasper, isn’t it?
“That’s right, sir. I was thinking of “Great Balls”, sir!
Yes, all right! I mean no, not all right! Mmm (Smiling wrily). Great song, great rock’n’roll song. Can you sing it, lad? Do you know it? Jerry Lee Lewis sang Great Balls of Fire. (Working up to it!) I can see him now, playing the piano, thumping out the beat. Dah, dah, dah, goodness gracious, great balls of fire!” (Takes a moment to recover.) Yes, Mary, good girl.
“George Bernard, sir, as in GBS, you know?”
Yes, yes, I do know, believe it or not. Clever, creative! But remember what I said to Jocky, er, Cocky, I mean Rocky, about GBH? Well, we don’t want any of that around here, do we, no, no … joke! joke! Get it? No GBH! …. Well, GBS wasn’t quite what was on my mind.
Come on, next one! Hello, Susan, what do you say?
“Great Barrier as in Island, sir.”
Well, is that some local kind of geography? Remember I’m not from New Zealand.
“Yes sir, it’s an island off the coast from Auckland.”
Well, I learn something everyday.
Come on now, don’t you want to know what I’m thinking of. My goodness gracious me, seven answers, that’s all we’ve had out of 31 of you. What’s going on? Left your grey matter at home, eh? You’re supposed to be the cream of Year Eight. Come on! Look lively! Ye gods and little fishes! You know, when I was your age we were romping through ten of these abbreviations, acronyms, quangoes and initials all before the teacher came into the room.
What was that, Anthony? All right no need to be rude, no need at all. I’ll give you a clue, you’re looking at it. (Quizzical silence)
Come on, come on, what are you looking at? I should say who, of course. (Nobody wants to say the teacher’s name).
Good grief! It’s me, it’s my name, Gee Bee stands for me! Yes, Barry?
“There was a pop group called the Gee Bees, wasn’t there, sir?”
Yes, yes, that’s kind of right, and Garry Bibb (sic) was one of the brothers. OK, I’m leading into today’s lesson about spoonerisms; I used to teach with someone called Denis Pyatt. Let’s not go further on that one.
Gee is a very fine letter
Gee isn’t just any old letter,
As an exclamation! None better!
And it’s a politeness for Jesus!
Soft or hard it’s a very important letter.
Without it “od” would be very odd.
Raham wouldn’t mean a thing
And then there’s oogle!
Of course, that may explain
The online encyclopedia.