Oz Foreign Minister, Scorpio Mollings on her Prime Minister being presidential
I think our PM is as near to something presidential as Oz can possibly allow. We need someone who can sum up, see a situation, apply a bit of vision, call a spade a shovel, and present it to the people, either on TV or on Facebook.
I really like the idea of national TV actually announcing me, “And now the Foreign Minister of Australia, Scorpio Mollings!” Some people refer to me as “ScawMaw”, a bit of an odd one but I don’t mind. It shows they’re paying some attention to me. My speechifying is not unlike the Queen’s Christmas message where she describes everything she hopes for the world in the new year. I could do the same for Australia from time to time, say quarterly. It doesn’t have to be every month, people would start to turn off. That’s if they ever switched on, switched the TV on, I mean. Topics or issues that I would like to talk about are the recent bonfires in the bush (that’s our forests), the refugee crisis, support for coal, how to give up using plastics, and how to take up a strong belief in your life. I mean if I managed it, we can all do it. Everyone should enjoy the benefits of belonging to an organisation which is a life supporting guiding light.
“Me Too” Movement
Well, I’m no expert on inappropriate behaviour, it has never been in my repertoire, and I don’t mean being expert! I mean behaving untowardly because I’m a religious person, a clean-living upstanding member of community and society. And yes, yes, I know that many churchmen have been caught with their pants down, so to speak, as regards young boys they were caring for. Temptation is a bugger. Sorry, sorry, I should say it’s something that grabs us all by the, er, short and … I’m trying to say scruff of the neck. Yes, better say that. Otherwise I’ll risk not being allowed to do a TV spiel.
There’s no such thing as inappropriate behaviour for men, it’s women who need to look at how they attract bad behaviour, putting temptation in the way of men. Look at me, I’m a woman. I should know what I’m talking about. Look at Eve. The compliance of women is the real problem. You know that some of them will do anything to advance their careers, especially if stardom beckons. Remember how Marilyn Monroe got film offers, doing favours for a bunch of powerful old grey-haireds. So I get a bit tired of all the men being accused of bad behaviour and worse, some women even cry rape. I cry foul myself! I often feel sorry for men, the way some women tempt them, lead them down the garden path, take them for everything they’ve got, including their souls. Then those women many years later decide that they were the injured parties, as if they hadn’t got anything out of the dalliance, as if they hadn’t acquiesced.
Now a letter to an old correspondent of over 55 years.
Dear Doc Ron,
I hope I can use your first name like that. We’ve never met but I just feel I know you so well after considerable correspondence with your old friend, Graham in Noo Zeelun’. He seems a decent sort, pity about his politics though. He recommended you highly, saying that you would be the one to help me with my ideas for Australia and climate change going forward. Some would say backward but they misunderstand me. You’ve also been recommended by another psych by name of Sandy, I think he’s Scottish. He told me you’re a 500-dollar therapist, not sure if that means by the hour or by the whatever. I could afford it no matter which, if I felt the need for some mental support.
Now the wildfires here. Well, it’s simple really – I am in agreement with our Prime Minister who says all the fires in NSW, Victoria and Queensland have been exaggerated to the satisfaction the voracious media. You know and I know that there’s nothing like a good fire to their eyes, so to speak, because fires really make good copy. Then a few deaths help, too. I suspect the figure isn’t anything like 29 as reported in the recent bonfires, more like just nine. Not too many really, considering how hot I heard the fires were. Anyway, I hope that our PM follows through on his stated intention to muzzle the media, and taking steps to stop people building homes in the bush. Why can’t they live in cities like normal people? Then there’s coal. I would make people realise it’s the future of Oz. If not, certainly in Queensland. Coal is much more important than the Barrier Reef, you can’t export coral! I’ve heard our PM quite rightly say, “Coal before coral!” You know China burns more coal than the rest of the world put together. We have the coal, we simply have to supply it. Otherwise we risk China’s ire and hurting its economy, not to mention ours.
There are wider interests always to consider, too, such as my electorate base, which is mostly composed of coal and miners and coal owners. Apart from that I think our government should tackle population, there are far too many people, caused by too many of them having too many. I have close friends in Brisbane with three daughters, all in their 30s, and no intention of having family. Of course, I well know that people are needed to pay for old folks and the unemployed and all the other expenses of a government. But I think there are sensible people around not bothering with sproggin’.
Forget wildlife, it can look after itself. In the end, at the end, the koala and the kangaroo can look after themselves. They are not the great nation of Australis! Get rid of people is the main thing. You know, in my Church there are people still having four or five of a family. I intend saying something about that next time I do pulpit practice. Some of them really should learn to keep their things in their pants. While I’m about it, I would get rid of firefighters, especially the volunteers. They just create more sensational news, giving a human face to climate change. I reckon they kill each other, you know.
Well, Doctor Ron if you like what I have to say here, do get in touch.
I’d be interested to know if you’d like to hear more fiery thoughts
and flaming good ideas! Yeh, but it’ll have to be after our PM finishes his interrupted holiday, as he’s off back to Hawaya (Yeh Hawaii, but also asking “How are ya?”) for a couple of weeks.
All the best to you and yours, ScawMaw
Scaw Maw on Coronovirus
Well, it’s not dissimilar to the bonfires we had here in the bush, all a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, or whatever a good expression is, like no smoke without fire? Perhaps not. Anyway, I have to laugh at everyone rushing about buying silly masks and toilet paper, and now I hear there are Australian people in China who want to come home because of what’s called Corovirus (sic), yeh, you know Coro as in Coronation Street, which has been around for decades. I never miss an episode, often hum the theme tune, it’s got a religious feeling I always feel. Actually, isn’t it Kronovirus? Krono, Coro, dunno. OK, let’s not be pedandick (sic), it’s all very well, all well and good our Aussie citizens wanting to return home from China, but I have to ask why they were there in the first place. They really should have known better, they should have sussed that China has a history of awful stuff. Well do I remember the SARS epidemic, but I won’t go on, not my purview to do a rave, although I could very easily, skilled as I am in pulpit behaviour. Look, this government will do the right thing and arrange at huge expense to bring them home but there’ll have to be quarantine, they can’t just march straight in carrying god knows, and I mean God knows what, in his infinite wisdom and knowledge. God only knows what infernal respiratory diseases. Note the spelling there – no not diseases, the word respiratory. I hear it pronounced everywhere nowadays missing a syllable so it becomes “respitory”. Probably American. Anyway, it’s dreadful! Awful! I don’t know what our education and speech are coming to. Well, I do actually, it’s becoming Americanised, so that means dumbed down, reduced standards, certainly no attention paid to spelling. So the returnees will be on Christmas Island for a couple of weeks of screening.
Actually, maybe they could join the refugees on Nauru. Now there’s an idea. It’s supposed to be all right there, certainly costing us a packet to look after people wanting to come to Australia and work hard with their great skills. But they didn’t do the necessary paperwork! So they have to be punished. Even if it means punishing our taxpayers. Well, that’s what people pay tax for, to see a tough government refusing to allow in people who would probably have been good citizens, but were trying to do it on the sly.
OK, I think I’ll jigger off to Hawaii. Anywhere’s better than here with all the fires and foreign pronunciations!